Built to Be Held
When Letting Go Feels Risky—But Holding On Is Breaking You
If you’ve lived through trauma, "surrender" can sound like a trap.
Letting go? Of control? Of your armor? That doesn’t feel safe—it feels dangerous.
Because for so many of us, control isn’t about pride.
It’s how we survived.
It’s how we kept from falling apart.
But what if the very thing you’re holding onto to feel safe…
is the thing keeping you from actually healing?
Why Control Feels Safer Than Trust 🧠💣
When life teaches you, “No one’s coming to catch you,”
you start building your own nets. You carry everyone. You plan every detail.
You say, “I’m strong,”
but really, you’re just scared to fall.
You become the one everyone else leans on.
Meanwhile, you’re running on fumes.
Emotionally maxed out. Spiritually numb.
But still showing up.
Still smiling.
Still “being strong.”
Sound familiar?
What Happens When You Can’t Let Go?
Back in 2017, my psychiatrist looked at me and said:
“You’re in a storm and don’t even know it. If you collapse, everything collapses with you.”
That hit hard.
I was holding everyone’s weight like a foundation.
No support beneath me—just pressure stacked on pressure.
Eventually, my nervous system hit overload.
I wasn’t burned out—I was fried.
My brain checked out to keep me from breaking down.
It wasn’t weakness. It was survival mode crashing mid-flight.
If your “check engine” light has been flashing for a while—
please don’t wait for your system to crash.
What Does Jesus Say About Your Heavy Load?
“Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I’ll give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28
Jesus doesn’t say:
“Get your life together first”
“Just have more faith”
“Keep pretending you’re fine”
He says:
“Come to me... and I’ll carry this with you.”
He’s not asking for your performance.
He’s offering you peace.
What Are You Really Carrying? 🎒💔
Imagine your life like a backpack.
From the outside, it looks manageable.
But inside, it’s heavy with:
🌪️ Unspoken trauma
💼 Pressure to always show up
🧍 Loneliness no one sees
🤐 Emotions you were never allowed to feel
📉 Fear of failing someone
🤯 Doubts you don’t feel “allowed” to ask God
🧱 Regret + responsibility that was never yours to carry
You’ve worn it for so long, it just feels normal now.
But Jesus is asking, “Will you let Me carry that with you?”
Why Surrender Feels Scary (But Healing) 😬➡️🛟
Surrender doesn’t always feel safe.
Especially when “letting go” used to lead to disappointment.
When people dropped you.
When chaos was the norm.
When slowing down felt like letting your guard down.
But here’s the truth:
You weren’t built to carry this.
You were built to be held.
What Does Surrender Really Look Like?
Not giving up.
Not “losing.”
Not being weak.
Surrender is:
🔓 Letting go of what was never yours to carry
🤝 Letting Jesus be your support system
🧠 Unlearning the lie that says you’re only safe if you’re in control
He’s not saying “just drop it all.”
He’s saying, “Let’s carry this together.”
Life Application: How to Actually Start Surrendering
Surrender isn’t a dramatic movie moment—it’s a quiet, daily practice.
Try this:
Pick one thing. Start with one fear, not your whole list.
Pray messy. Say, “God, I don’t know how to let go. But I want to try.”
Give yourself grace. Trust doesn’t grow overnight—especially when it’s been broken.
Notice the red flags. Watch for tension, spirals, or exhaustion—your body’s way of saying, “Too much.”
Ask the real questions:
What weight am I carrying that God never gave me?
Whose emotions am I managing like they’re mine?
What outcome am I clinging to like my life depends on it?
What am I afraid will happen if I actually let go?
Final Truth Drop 💬
Jesus isn’t waiting for your perfect surrender.
He just wants your willing heart.
You’re not weak for struggling.
You’re strong for still standing.
And you’re worthy of rest—right now, not “once you’ve done more.”
This week, loosen your grip. Even just a little.
And watch what happens when you stop trying to hold it all...
and let yourself be held.
(New Living Translation Bible, 1996)
(New King James Version, 1975)